I thought I will be writing about my first in-camp training (ICT) experience while avoiding any sensitive issues that may bring trouble to me because stuff in the army are either restricted (everybody knows but don't talk about it), confidential (need to know basis), secret (the army must conduct a background check before granting you access to these red files) and top secret (shhhh! They don't exist). It turned out that I didn't even complete my first ICT, the commanding officer should have just granted my appeal for deferment instead and not waste my precious time.

On Sunday 15/6/08, I went jogging with Sucre around our new neighbourhood, the air was bad due to the traffic by the road side. Even when I'm out of shape, I could jog for at least 1.5 km maintaining a certain pace but that day, I can barely make it to 1 km. When it comes to swimming, I'm always behind Sucre but when it comes to jogging, I'm usually ahead of her but on that day, I lagged behind by some distance. It was easy to put the blame on the poor air quality and the fact that I had a piece of bread just before jogging. But it seem that the problem could be something worse. Afterall, I jogged around Clementi road at around 5-6 pm in the past and the air quality can only be worse as the traffic is much more heavier on that road but I never suffer such a performance drop before.

Then ICT begins, I knew I was going to fail IPPT anyway given my physical conditions, but the static stations felt a lot harder to me. I could barely pass my sit-ups, a station that almost always gave me 4-5 points regardless of preparation (guess sit-up is the only exercise I get regularly when I wake up). I went from the front of the pack to the last of the pack as I needed extent breaks to catch my breath.

Friday night was book out night for the ICT, and frankly I didn't do so much in the ICT that would make me tired, but somehow I was and I rested early and woke up the next day not feeling refresh, it was the beginning of the attack. Over the day, the symptoms get worse, and by night time, taking a breath was a fight for getting oxygen in my lungs. I had such breathlessness symptoms in the past and it usually subsides within 3-4 hours, but this was different, it came with complete nose block. I couldn't sleep for most of the night and was shivering with fever in between.

Many general practitioners rest on Sundays, some of those who do practice medicine on Sunday have some kind of surcharge that will scare the sickness out of you once you know the rates. The family doctor at my old home is a nice fellow who opens his clinic for 1/2 a day on Sunday for no extra charges. Not wanting to take the risks, I decided to visit him one more time. Diagnosis, mild asthma, as posted online 2 days ago. Things seem to be better from that point onwards until I booked in to camp that night to continue with my ICT.

Another sleepless night, this time round I have some diarrhea too, 4 times in fact. By the time we were suppose to wake up at 5:45am, my fever came back with a vengeance at 311.4 Kelvins. I knew from it that I have to get myself excused from the 4 days 3 nights outfield training (in fact, those soldiers are still feeding mosquitoes in the jungle right now). The SAF medical officer seem to doubt my illness when I went to endorse a 3-days MC. Most illnesses do not require 3 days of rest, perhaps this was one of those that deserves 3 days or even more. I was ordered asked to go and have my vital symptoms checked by the medic (they didn't do it the first time maybe because this was not in the standard procedures for endorsing of MCs). The results was a fever of 311.1 Kelvin and a face mask to prevent my 'germs' from flying off. I was sent packing home from the ICT from that point onwards. I wasted a whole week of ICT training and didn't manage to clock the ICT at all so I will have to do it all over again in the future, but nothing is more precious than my health.

At this point of time, 2 doctors have certified my status. I looked as the SAF medical officer wrote down these few words "newly diagnosed asthma" on my medical note. This will go down into my medical records and will definitely downgrade my PES status when I go for FFI next time, to what will largely depends on how many attacks I get in the next 2 years.

The first thing I did after I reached home and unpacked was to sleep, I haven't been sleeping well for the past 2 nights and I really need to catch up on my sleep. The worst seemed to be over and I could start planning what stuff to do during the break as I lied down on my bed. I slept from about 12 noon to 1pm to take my medicine and carried on with my dreams. Until I woke up with breathlessness again and a fever of 311.8 Kelvin at about 4 pm, much higher than the past 2 days. I tried to sleep over it hoping that my body will take care of itself but an hour later, my temperature was shooting through the roof, 312.8 Kelvins, that is about as high a fever I ever had in my life. I got to do something about it as I tried to breath harder.

A cold shower usually works wonders in bringing down body temperature, plus it should be time for my medications soon. When my temperature went up to 313.0 Kelvins, I just had to see my family doctor one more time again. During the 1 hour period between my decision to see him and seeing him, my hands and feet were icy cold and numb, I felt very giddy and my fingers were cramped and couldn't move at all. I can't even carry my own wallet, pay for my medical bills or buckle up in my car. The doctor wasn't sure if I can go home given my condition and let me off when he knew that I had Sucre to take care of me and my dad to drive me home. For the first time in my life, I was not in control of my own body.

The problem this time round was hyperventilation. It appeared that during my sleep, the build up of phlegm and my shortness of breath tricked myself in breathing in too much for my own good. And I managed to see the doctor at the nick of the time for if I waited any longer I'm certain that I could have fainted. I was given some gas treatment for my asthma to reduce the wheezing I have for asthma and the plastic bag treatment for my hyperventilation. I was sent home after 20-30 mins but nothing was done to bring down my fever as it surged to 313.2 Kelvins and beyond according to Sucre. By this point of time, I was so cold and so sick that I couldn't find the energy to look at my own temperature anymore. For those of you who are challenged 'physically', 313.2 Kelvin correspond to 40 degrees. Essentially I had my first high-grade fever of my life, 24 hours ago.

Sucre put me on the ice-treatment to reduce my temperature and came poking my ear every 15 minutes to make sure that my temperature dropped. It did, eventually, after a few hours. Right now, I'm still accessing the damage asthma has done to my health. It definitely had affected my stamina a lot, caused me to lose quite a few pounds (now I'm about 74 kg, 2-3 kilos less than before) and it may have affected my 中气 (zhong qi). Now I may not be able to project my voice and speak like I used to without feeling breathless. Hopefully I will heal slowly because the last medical advice I got from my doctor was to go to A&E if my asthma attacks again for a complete checkout (it may not be that mild after all).

I will have to monitor my health closely, especially after my Theophylline runs out tomorrow. If you see me in school on Thursday, it's good news. Otherwise I may have to go for another 'first' in life - hospitalization. No matter what, I have to pull through with so many important things happening in life right now. If it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger. Isn't it?